Chicken Caesar Everything
Steak Tartare, Stroganoff, Chicken Kiev, Crème Brulée. Along with a Caesar Salad these are my pet menu things that I always order if they are suggested to me. I would order a Caesar Salad on a Ryanair flight. I would literally buy a Caesar Salad out of someone’s car boot.
Not all Caesars are created equal, but I have room in my heart the high and the low: the industrial chicken Caesar supermarket wrap for instance. My 6 year old son had a bite of mine once then asked to finish the whole thing - now we sometimes split one in the car on the way home from school and as we munch happily in the M&S car park I feel total connection and happiness. Our mutual love of CC is in fact what has inspired this post: If we both love Caesar, then Caesar we shall have.
I have been riffing on the key pillars of the dressing as inspiration for meals, and it has turned out very deliciously. For something to be Caesar, it needs to have:
Anchovy
Parmesan
Garlic
Lemon/vinegar
Something creamy/fatty - mayo or poached egg or nice olive oil
I am not saying that my word is the last word. I know that the original Caesar dressing is credited to Caesar Cardini, an Italian restaurant owner in Tijuana*. His version was whole leaves of Romaine lettuce, mixed at the table in a dressing of minute-boiled eggs, oil, garlic, lemon and Worcestershire sauce. Probably delicious, but I can’t say I prefer it to the creamy, umami version found in my beloved supermarket wraps.
*Purportedly - because who can really ever pinpoint a recipe’s origins? Recipes are like stories, handed down. There is very seldom a truly evidenced moment of invention. The idea of this being an Italian idea zhuzhed to American tastes is a plausible one though.
Some people are babies and don’t like anchovies. Fine, leave them out! As Chef John says (more on him later) ‘You’re the boss of your sauce!’. You will need a salty rich alternative in your dressing to get the right sort of balance. You could do capers, brown miso, or nutritional yeast - maybe even nori? An ersatz vegan space food probably also exists - if it doesn’t, they should invent one! AnchNOvies!
The Dressing
Homemade mayonnaise is my culinary white whale, I just can’t manage it for some reason. Every attempt leaves me with a sore wrist from whipping and a heavy heart from failing. I wanted to make a Caesar dressing that would just whizz together, where I wouldn’t have to make mayonnaise and where maybe it was slightly less rich? Less fatty? This is it. I could eat this with a spoon.
You need:
A regular small tin of anchovies including the oil (no real point using fancy ones)
a chunk of parmesan about the size of a packet of a large matchbox
The juice and zest of a lemon (or a tablespoonish of white wine vinegar)
a big dollop of mayonnaise
an equal dollop of either soured cream, creme fraiche or full fat yogurt
a big clove of garlic
some olive oil
salt and pepper
Put it all in a blender, pre chopping the garlic and cheese a little so you don’t get a random chunk floating around. That. Is. It.
I bought a Nutri Bullet on Vinted for £30, and although I had understandable concerns about it going into the kitchen gadget graveyard of the top of the cabinets, it gets used very regularly and doesn’t take up too much space. So, a Nutri Bullet is what I use, but you could use a stick blender or a food processor or just chop things up very small and smush feverishly in a pestle and mortar.
You get a creamy, zingy dressing that keeps in the fridge for about a week. The yogurt/sour cream/creme fraiche element keeps the dressing from becoming too cloying. The lemon zest keeps it really bright.
Chicken Caesar Crisps
Tim Anderson coined the term Katsuification of Britain in this amazing Vittles article, all about how Katsu became part of the British menu, served in care homes and schools and McDonalds up and down the country. I am officially cosmic ordering the Caeserification of the UK - more specifically a Chicken Caesar crips. But until the mighty winds of snack development grant my wish, I have made this DIY version which is a plate of loaded crisps featuring my dressing, fresh anchovies, fingers of cos lettuce and chives. You need a ready salted crisp - I like a robust ridged McCoy, but I understand that people aren’t keen on the thickness. Horses for courses (Crisps for Wrists?).
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I tried doing that thing in the TikTok above where you open the bag by laying it on its side and slashing a cross into the centre and peeling back each corner so you have created a makeshift bag-bowl. What looks ingenious on a beach looks weird on my kitchen table, so I put them on a platter. You simply blob on your Caesar dressing, anchovies and chives, plus a sprinkle of parmesan and pepper. You can then either chop romaine lettuce into chunks and add that on, but I kept the leaves whole and to the side, seeing as their boaty shape is already ergonomically perfect for scooping into gobs.
